Archers News

Top Engineer blasts BMW ‘Shark Fin’

Posted in Engineering, General Interest by archersnews on May 27, 2010

Leading engineer Max Von Linden blasted the BMW shark fin, the distinctive spoiler seen on the roof of later BMW cars, as a schoolboyish engineering mistake. “Rather than improve performance” Von Linden points out in May’s edition of The Engineer , “the fin leads to greater wind resistance and reduced performance“. He commented “many of the drivers are also complete twat heads”

Shark Fin blasted by Von Linden

Shark Fin blasted by Von Linden

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Liam at centre of Blur Poll Mystery

Posted in C++, Internet, Music by archersnews on May 5, 2010

Rock Star Liam Gallagher was at the centre of  bizarre vote rigging claims last night involving  fellow rock band Blur. 

The Poll promoted by the music press  “Oasis or Blur: The Final Say, You Decide”  returned an overwhelming majority in the Manchester band’s favour.

 A few eyebrows were raised at the time, however the matter would have been done and dusted were it not for a complaint by a member of the public to the official sponsors N.M.E. who called in the Internet Auditing Authority.

The Oasis Blur poll results

 The I.A.A discovered that an ‘irregular proportion’ of voting activity pointed to a single address around the Manchester area but refused to disclose more information.  He added that  “these polls use a high level of security intended to protect the integrity of the data, so whoever was behind this knew what they were doing”.

The second poll

 An unauthorised poll about the band Gorillaz, which is run by Blur front man Damon Albarn, was also traced to a server at the same Manchester address.

 Speculation is being further fuelled by the revelation that an email address resembling that of the fiery Oasis frontman was found in the polling code. The IAA was quick to point out however that “there are of course very many tens of thousands liam.g’s in the world even in the street in which Liam Gallagher lives and to which this email has been traced. It is by no means unique. The net is a huge place”

A friend of the Gallagher family spoke in an interview with the Sunday Mirror  last year about Liam’s prodigious computer talents.

“Not many people know it but Liam had the potential to be a world class C++ Programmer and was once offered a job at Microsoft in his teens. He blew his teachers away at school, whatever the computer guys threw at him he just soaked it up. It was like he already knew it,  they were just amazed. There is very little Liam can’t do with C++, SQL or PHP”.

The Code unearthed by the IAA

Liam has made no secret of his love for computers once famously saying . “I love the way simple binary code can operate a machine. The idea just kinda transfixed me as a kid you know. Life throws some real hard bitches of dilemmas at you –  mine has been whether to rock n’ roll or to program”.

 N.M.E said it would clearly be a shame if the results had been tampered with but are not planning to take any further action.

-Archers News

“B.O. will be outlawed on London Buses by 2012”

Posted in Transport, UK Law, Uncategorized by archersnews on May 1, 2010

The Secretary of State for Transport, The Rt Hon Lord Andrew Adonis,  pledged today to outlaw body odor on London buses by 2012, with a move to roll it out across all Public Transport nationwide by 2014. 

His proposal to a Commons Select Commitee states “B.O. on Public Transport is unacceptable in this day and age. If you don’t want to shower that is fine, but you will need to look at alternative methods of transport.  There are few worse transport ordeals than having to take a packed tube at the height of summer next to some unwashed berk ponging the hell out of the carriage. The choice is simple – Wash or Walk.”

The Minister outlined a number of measures including on the spot fines of up to £500  that will be introduced in the Spring of 2012, accompanied by a series of  ‘Wash or Walk’ poster campaigns.

New Transport Measures

New Transport law will be phased in by Adonis

–Archers News